


a kiss with a fist [is better than none]

by orphan_account



Category: Dollhouse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-22
Updated: 2010-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-20 04:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	a kiss with a fist [is better than none]

It's fair to say that Paul blames Topher for a lot of things. But the thing is, Topher is hyper and whip-smart and childlike and genuinely likable. The man is no reflection of the sins he has committed. If anything, he is contrary to it.

But Topher is painfully blind to all of his transgressions, the way he hurts people, the damage done. Sure, he's just a guy doing a job, making things more efficient, but he's so much more than that. And the fact that he can't see it is his biggest sin of all.

Paul wants to ask him how he lives with himself, how he sleeps at night.

But he doesn't.

He keeps his mouth shut, works closely with Topher as many of the new handlers tend to do, and in the end he realizes that he likes the guy. He'd even call him a friend if his gut didn't clench at the very thought of it.

Topher works, pressing buttons, making genius, yet short-sighted observations, his Topher-like comments, and sometimes Paul laughs, and sometimes he scowls, and sometimes he has to force himself to leave the room.

Fact is, Topher reminds Paul more and more of his old college roommate every day. Even the way Topher moves and his lanky, thin, yet muscular build is the same. Paul can remember pressing into his roommate, hips thrusting, coming hard almost every night of his college career. He can even imagine Topher, naked and smooth against him. It would probably be a welcome release. It's been a long time since Paul's been with a man, and the truth is that sometimes he craves it.

He even flirts, places a hand too long at Topher's back, stands too close when they talk. The fact is, he's considering it. He watches Topher as he works, and there really is something special about it. He brings Topher coffee in the mornings and he memorizes the shape of his eyes. Eyes are Paul's thing. Eyes are, ipso facto, the most important thing he considers when deciding whether or not to fuck a guy.

But Paul can't let Topher off the hook for all he's done, and so he refuses to let himself indulge.

He even manages to pretend not to notice Topher's increasing staring at his jawline, his tongue involuntarily darting out to lick his lips, his obvious attraction to Paul, the way he leans into his touch.

But Paul knows, _he knows_ , he's only kidding himself.

-

But one day Topher makes a mistake. An off-the-cuff comment he makes while Echo's in the chair sets Paul off. Paul won't remember what he said, and the truth is, it could have been anything. It's a breaking point.

Paul waits until Echo's under, grabs Topher by the arm and presses him hard against the machines, lights blinking, warning bells ringing. He covers Topher's mouth with his and slips his hand between them, rubs at the denim over Topher's hardening cock, sucks behind his ear. Topher responds in kind, lips and tongue, hands roaming.

Paul lets this go on for a minute and then he pulls away. The two men stare at each other, both thinking opposing thoughts. Paul knows this will be his only indulgence. Topher's only taste. Make him want you, turn him away. A hardly proportional, but fitting punishment for Topher's arrogance.

"Did I fall asleep?"

Echo's awake in the chair, a witness to the exchange.

Topher coughs.

"For a little while," he manages.

-

After the incident, Paul won't look at him, won't talk to him. Topher tries, but all he gets is the standard, professional response, the cold shoulder, and no coffee in the morning. He has to excuse himself twice a day for the first few days to jerk off, comes into his hand with the thought of Paul in his head.

It's cruel, and it's not like he's never seen this kind of revenge before, but even he can't deny that it hurts.

"You'll get over it," Echo tells him one day when Paul leaves the room.

"Get over what?" Topher asks.

Echo looks at him in that same blank way as she always does.

"Him," she says. "You'll get over him."

Topher watches her as she walks away, knows she must be right.

"I hope so, Echo," he says. "I hope so."

 _-fin_


End file.
